Everyone's favorite pinata, Sarah Palin, is sitting in the oval office with a big smile on her face. Strange things are happening outside the windows behind her. Pictures of famous looking people hang on the walls and a a red phone sits on her desk, waiting for that important call.
It's all part of an interactive webpage. Go to the link and move your mouse over all of the objects in the photo. Click once or twice and see what happens. Who ever created this is a genius. It's my pre-election gift to all of you. Have fun!
Belly's plight is like many others in these tough economic times. She's barely employed and struggling to pay the rent. She even took the drastic move to plaster her plight on posters around Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn. She's also a "Christian woman." So far, it seems prayer has not worked.
Right now, apartments are ranging from $1,700-$5,000 a month in Carroll Gardens, where the average price for a one bedroom is hovering around $2,100. Currently most of the apartment shares are cramped quarters with single men and women bunking with each other. Unfortunately, she's going to have to ditch the kid for anyone to open their doors to her.
In Nebraska, a father abandoned his nine children---ages 20-months to 17-years old, after his wife died. He couldn't afford to feed or house all of those kids, so under Nebraska's safe haven law, he was legally allowed to dump the children off at a hospital, fire house or police station. In Nebraska alone, 14 children have been ditched legally by their parents in the past few months.
I don't mean to joke about Belly's plight or even her Christianity, but sadly, our glum economy will likely hatch more Belly's. Like Nebraska, both New York and New Jersey have safe haven laws, so don't be surprised, if we find more struggling parents ditching their children in order to survive. Scary, isn't it.
While doing a little research on the effects of the economy on people's lives, I decided to do a google search of the word "suicide." I was curious as to how many people are thinking about taking their lives, because of the downturn in the economy. To my surprise, aside from the suicide prevention websites, quite a few personal ads came up. They weren't looking for love, though. They were looking to die, some even asking the best way to off themselves.
I can't say for sure that these personal ads indicate a sudden increase in suicidal thoughts or not, because I don't have ads from a year ago to compare. But, what is clear is that several people do mention how the stock market crash made them think this way. They appear to range in age from 20-somethings to a senior citizens. Some contemplate how to best kill themselves. Other ask for help, before they put the gun to their heads.
Below, I've picked a few examples of the personals I found. Most of them were posted to the popular website, Craigslist, which offers up personal ads, classified ads and sections to rant about various issues.
I WANT TO DIE (Manhattan)
Date: 2008-10-12, 2:06PM EDT
Hi. I am white and I am miserable with my life. I am gay and a democrat. My family hates me and all of my gay democrat friends are self-centered assholes. I hate republicans so I cant use them as friends.
I want to die. Last week I heard that the Indians had a saying that said 'Every day is a good day to die'. I like that saying and I have picked today to die.
Here's where you come in. I want you to come choke me to death. I want you to choke me till my face turns purple, my eyes bulge out and the blood vessels in my eyeballs explode. Choke me till I piss and shit on myself. Choke me harder till I die. Send me to hell. I'm tired of this life and the assholes in this world.
Contact me and we can meet where ever you will feel comfortable doing it at. I don't care what you do with my body afterwards. The best thing would be to burn it so there will be no way to trace any fibers or anything to incriminate you. If you want to rape me while choking me that's cool too. You can let your friends rape me after im dead. I wont mind. You can skin me, cut me into little pieces or eat me for all I care.
I don't want to get shot, stabbed, beaten to death or drowned. I want to be choked to death or to jump to my death.
I really want to do this today. I don't want to wake up to another tomorrow.
CHECKING OUT (Brooklyn)
Date: 2008-10-11, 7:34AM EDT
hey, does anyone know how to successfully commit suicide? i want to use a gun, but I'm afraid i might survive. so, if you know the proper way of shooting oneself in the head and dying instantly let me know. thanks
Where can I purchase a revolver? (Hollywood)
Date: 2008-10-10, 5:42AM PDT
I'm a senior and I've lost most of my money in the stock market.I would like to purchase a revolver for when the time comes that I get too despondent to live any more.I cannot look at my account anymore as I get too depressed.Killing myself with a gun ends my life in a split second.Hopefully I won't suffer.I could not bear being homeless so I think ending my life would be best under these circumstances.The only thing that stops me from taking this action now is that my step mom who is 101 years will leave me a one fifth inheritance of her estate which might be about 140 thousand.And the other thing that also stops me from taking my life now is Social Security pays me $1228 per month.It's not a lot but at least it's something.I just want to buy a gun to keep in my apartment for when the day comes as I'm sure that it will that I will no longer have any interest in living any longer. About 9 years ago I purchased a niche for myself at Valley Oaks cemetery in Thousand Oaks but lately I've been thinking of just having the Hemlock Society take care of the disposal of my body. Well that's all I have to say.If someone has a revolver for sale please reply to this post.Thank you.
Venting - m4w - 21 (at school)
Date: 2008-10-08, 8:53PM EDT
I am perceived to be an arrogant and smart party boy from a good family. I am supposed to be the smart one with the high IQ but that doesn't help me. Have you ever calculated how many Milligrams of Ibuprofen could kill you and realized you don't have enough? or stopped seeing your psychologist because you realized that the next time you refill your Prozac prescription you'd have enough to kill yourself? all this tells me is that I have a fantasy of killing myself but don't have the balls to do so. How about the fact that I am almost guaranteed at the very least $1 million in probably 30 years but am $3,000 in debt now and too proud to ask for help; or the fact that I work for $10 an hour in a job that most people earn over $200k a year? Basically I'm on the verge of making the biggest mistake of my life.......AGAIN! How can this happen to me again? I was able to hide the first time from my parents and now I need help. I need help I crave the touch of a woman but am too depressed to go out. I drink alone to dull the pain because everything is a pipe dream right now I have no way out.
Carroll Gardens really gets into the home decorating thing, when holidays roll around. They do it up really big here around Christmas time. Valentines Day, Thanksgiving and Easter are also pretty big. But, next to Christmas, Halloween is clearly the second most popular "dress up" holiday. So, I decided to stroll the hood and see what I could find. Here's a sampling of some of the best and worst Carroll Gardens has to offer.
1)SIMPLE, CLEAN, A SENSE OF AUTUMN.
2)SPOOKY, BUT A LITTLE CLUTTERED.
3) WHAT A MESS. COBWEBS OR TEE-PEE
4) A DISPLAY THAT TAKES THE SPOOKY OUT OF HALLOWEEN. REALLY NICE, ELEGANT.
What a sad sight! Someone callously abandoned their pet giraffe. Considering children love giraffes, it must have been some cruel joke that the giraffe-nappers decided to abandon the world's tallest animal onto a steel fence next to a Carroll Gardens playground.
There, as children played, Geoffrey (or what ever his name is)quietly sat. No playmates, no attention. None of the frolicking kids invited Geoffrey to play their reindeer games. If only one kid just looked up. They'd see the lonely giraffe. Unfortunately, this giraffe is just a dwarf of most giraffes, which can grow to a height of 18 feet. Had God made Geoffrey a little taller, surely one of those children would have noticed the dejected mammal. Poor Geoffrey.
Before I go any further and in order to appreciate this post better, please click on the YOUTUBE link below and play the song while reading this column. This will put you in the spirit and give you a better appreciation for the story that is about to follow.
Have you clicked on the link?
Did you?
Are you ready for your multi-media infused fairy tale?
Are you listening to the song?
Great!
So, the other day, I was at my computer writing another column for my blog when the door bell rings. I figured it was the UPS guy delivering a package to one of my neighbors, since he usually comes about this time. My other thought was, it might be the landlord. Nope. Religious wackos. They were the freshly dressed, smiling and cute Jehovah Witness girls from the little compound down the street in Brooklyn Heights. Their world headquarters, called the WATCHTOWER, is there.
"The economy isn't doing so well," one young lady explained. Like a depressing Laurel and Hardy routine, the other young woman continues," sometimes we feel isolated, frustrated, angry and even depressed." I'm thinking, yeah, okay. "How do you deal with this," they wondered. Okay, I knew where this was going. I could tell by the little pamphlets they were holding and the tidy little outfits and cute smiles that these two were Jesus freaks. So, I tried a little reverse psychology.
"I turn to God," I said. They both looked at each other, smiled and said, "that's good." This obviously didn't send them away. Now, they wanted to engage me in an impromptu Bible study, reading select passages from the Holy book in hopes of jolting me out of my economic doldrums. I didn't bite. Instead, I suggested, "why don't you join MY Bible study later today." They were confused. I continued. "Yeah me and my friends try to make reading and understanding the Bible fun," I told them. It's Bible trivial pursuit. They looked intrigued. I continued, "what we do is, for every bible question you answer incorrectly, you have to chug a beer and follow it up with a shot of Jack Daniels." Now, they appear agitated and just want to run away. But, I persist. "You two would be great at it, " I said "and you already know the Bible, so you probably wouldn't lose and would never need to chug a beer."
After my little rant, they both looked at each other, then turned to me and said, "God bless," and left. I'm not going to preach here, because enough of that has already been done. But, I never liked religion shoved down my throat. Would you feel any differently if the Hitler youth made house calls. (they don't like witnesses either, because during WWII, Hitler gathered them up and gave them little triangles) Not only that, Jehovah Witnesses are notoriously closed minded. Their members are banned from serving in the military and accepting blood transfusions and those that challenge the "good word" will be guilty of "independent thinking."
They also believe in Armageddon. In fact, it's founding father, Charles Taze Russell, predicted that day would come in 1914. We're still here. Five more times, in 1918, 1925, 1941, 1975 and most recently in 1995, Witnesses predicted the end of the world. We're still here. In fact, in 1995, headlines proclaimed, "No Armageddon." They miscalculated. Gotta give'm credit, they never blame the faulty predictions on God, but their own miscalculations. I'm not sure when the next Armageddon will come, but you'd think after six attempts at this, they'd just give up. But they couldn't do that, because that would be "independent thinking."
I don't really know Senator John McCain. For that matter, I never met or talked to Barack Obama, either. But, Mr. McCain considers me a friend. He said so last night during the second Presidential debate in Nashville, Tennessee.
Unfortunately, at Angry Wades bar in Brooklyn, where I watched the debate last night, it didn't appear as if he had many friends. Compared to the Vice Presidential debate, the crowd here was dense-challenged. When Sarah Palin and Joe Biden squared off, the bar was packed, three or four deep. Everyone wanted to see what Palin was all about.
McCain lobbied for the "town hall" style debate. Moderator Tom Brokaw says they were inundated with hundreds of questions. Most of those selected were lame, so were the "undecided" voters asking them in the studio audience. Brokaw didn't help. The format torpedoed real debate. The rules were blurry.
Everyone seems to know what John McCain is about. I really wanted to vote for a Republican. I have for many years. But, McCain isn't connecting. Aside from proposing to spend 300-billion dollars to buy up bad home loans, McCain offered nothing new. In fact, he was vague. The energy crisis: he's going to "deal" with it. He's going to "work" with Iraq, "work" on health care. I hope so. The Republican from Arizona called Ronald Reagan his hero. Later, he said the same about Teddy Roosevelt. Great way to connect with the younger voters. Even, as he was calling me "my friend," I still didn't connect.
Barack Obama performed better, seemed more believable and conveyed a real zeal to fix what's wrong with America. But, he too, offered few precise repair strategies. They both cited each other's voting record on specific issues. Their numbers, "my friends," were inaccurate or misleading. One number, however, was dead on. The number of times John McCain uttered, "my friends." He did that 21 times. (click on the video above to watch him do it)
I thought I had seen it all last Christmas. Every year, retailers put on display more hideous holiday decorations. I'm guessing it started with giant Santa Claus's and reindeer displays. It morphed into those giant snow-globes, complete with a Christmas scene and falling snowflakes.
Now, just in time for Halloween, comes this gem, a giant day-glo green skeleton head in front of Winn Discount on Court street! In Carroll Gardens, we epitomise tacky. Besides the plethora of Catholic icons and flamingo type lawn ornaments, the holidays bring us garish Halloween displays and kitschy Christmas set ups. You just wait and see how many of these over sized skeleton heads will be adorning our neighborhood lawns in the next few weeks.
Get your hands on this 1966 vintage jukebox. I'm selling it because, I need some extra space in my place. I've had this machine for over a decade. I bought it from a jukebox dealer. This is perfect for someone who restores jukes or just wants a cool conversation piece. The interior and exterior of the GP160 is very clean, with very few scratches. You'll need to do some work on this jukebox. All of the lights on the machine work, but the mechanism is slow and the amplifier is having some issues.
The Rockola GP160 plays 160 45's. There are probably a hundred or so of them already in the machine. They just need a little dusting.
Only 3,625 of these were made in 1966 under the model line 432. I've removed the plastic inserts (which list the song titles) so that I could view the mechanism in all of its glory. I still have those slots and will include them with the jukebox.
I'm also throwing in the original manual and parts guide.
NO SHIPPING. This must be picked up in Brooklyn, New York and you must have a way to transport the jukebox from my home.
Nearly once a week, someone sends me an email that calls for my urgent action. Usually, this means reading an email and then forwarding it to everyone in my address book. Unfortunately, most of these emails revolve around "urban myths," essentially tall tales that sound true enough. Most, however, are nothing but nonsense. Take this email.
"This week, the UK removed The Holocaust from its school curriculum because it 'offended' the Muslim population which claims it never occurred."
Shocking isn't it. "I can't believe it," you say. Well, then, don't. It continues....
"This is a frightening portent of the fear that is gripping the world and how easily each country is giving into it. It is now more than 60 years after the Second World War in Europe ended. This e-mail is being sent as a memorial chain, in memory of the, 6 million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians and 1,900 Catholic priests who were 'murdered, raped, burned, starved, beat, experimented on and humiliated' while the German people looked the other way!"
Oh, this is a "memorial chain." So, now the author makes you feel like a heartless schlub, if you don't respond. Then, the author drops a guilt trip.
"This e-mail is intended to reach 400 million people! Be a link in the memorial chain and help distribute this around the world. How many years will it be before the attack on the World Trade Center, 'NEVER HAPPENED' because it offends some Muslim in the U.S. ??????"
The fact of the matter, this just isn't true. Next time, your eyebrows are raised by some sort of alarming email, check it out first. The web's foremost urban myth debunking site is SNOPES.COM.
For those of us in radio, I can tell you from experience, many of my colleagues would like to quit like this. Unfortunately, radio stations are now owned by three or four companies and if you burn bridges with one station in one company, you are screwed company wide.
Gregg Stepp at ROCK 105 in Jacksonville, Florida found out he was being replaced by the legendary shock jock, The Greaseman in his afternoon drive slot. Instead of waiting to be fired on Friday, Stepp decided to step up to the mic and announce his own demise. Not only that, he dove into an angry anti-management rant and quit on the air, saying he was giving his "15 seconds notice."
After ranting, he walked away from the microphone. In the background, you can hear the door slam shut and about 20 seconds later, someone walks in and starts playing a song.
Neal E. Boyd has been crowned season 3's winner on America's Got Talent. The 32-year old adult cry baby, who sings opera, wins $1,000,000 and a contract at a Las Vegas hotel. That money has got to come in handy in these tough economic times, but will it? You'd think a big network like NBC would have no problem paying out such a huge prize on one of it's highest rated shows, right? You'd be wrong!
So, I'm watching the credits roll on this week's final episode and at the very end, just as the screen is about to go black, this little line scrawls across the screen. "The winning Contestant will collect $1,000,000 in 40 equal installments." I'll spare you the calculator. That's $25,000 a year. I'm 47, so if I won this contest, I may not be alive long enough to collect my entire $1,000,000. Neal E. Boyd, on the other hand, will be 72 when he collect his last $25,000 payment.
To put this in perspective, each year, America's newest millionaire will make as much as a library technician, a New York City cop, a receptionist, a nurse or a restaurant cook. Neal E. Boyd may be able to survive on that in his hometown of Sikeston, Missouri (pop: 16,992), but he'd be broke in most other cities. I wonder if the contestants were advised of this little disclaimer while they were auditioning or whether, like me, Neal E. Boyd, was watching his winning moment on T.V. when the disclaimer scrawled across the screen.
You can always expect certain words and phrases to come out of Sarah Palin's mouth and that's what made "Sarah Palin Bingo" so entertaining. About ten of us played the game at Angry Wades pub on Thursday night. Each page has 25 blocks and each page is different. Each time the Vice Presidential nominee utters one of the words or phrases on the sheet, you X it out. Like bingo, if you're the first to cross out five boxes in a row, you win.
This was one way of scoring the debate. Personally, I think Joe Biden won. His answers were more precise, more detailed and he rarely went off topic. He was even funny at times. Palin did fine for her first national debate, but she lost. People will like her folksy style and perky delivery, but it stops there. She couldn't answer many of the questions. Countless times, she switched topics to go back to her themes of the environment and energy. She lacked a grasp of knowledge on hot button issues like the economy and foreign affairs. Thank God she didn't cite Alaska's proximity to Russia as an example of her expertise on foreign affairs. She had before. The debate would have even been better had the moderator peppered the candidates with follow-up questions for clarity.
The bingo game demonstrated Palin's lack of depth on many issues. The sheets are filled with catch phrases and buzz words. I got to cross off Mayor, Governor, Wall Street, Main Street, Pakistan, Hero and Suspend the Campaign. Unfortunately, my sheet did not include the words, "maverick" and "hockey mom" which she must have blurted out a dozen times. I never heard anyone shout bingo, but then again there must have been 200 people in the bar. It was clearly a Democratic crowd. Republicans who were there appeared disgusted by Palin's opaque performance. Biden looked Presidential. Palin did not.
People play silly games like Bingo not with people like Joe Biden, Ronald Reagan or Michael Bloomberg. They don't play this game with smart people, or people who appear to be on top of their game. They play this sort of bingo game with Ross Perot, his former and now deceased running mate James Stockdale and yes, even our current President, George Bush. These sort of games are designed to mock. I could have won the bingo game had Palin said "gee," "jeepers" or "gosh darn it." To her credit, I don't think she did.
I know this just plain lame, but I was listening to channel 627 on Time Warner Cable. It's the 70's channel and it's the decade that musically was the most influential in my life. My radio conked out, so I turned on the T.V. and listened to one of the music channels and while I was sleeping, I was dreaming of dogs, specifically, Noodles and Romer, my two now deceased Dachshunds. Dreams are often crafted by what you're listening to and in this case it was Harry Nilsson's 1971 hit song, "Me and My Arrow," a song about a dog named "Arrow."
This is now the song that I can't get out of my head and so I've decided to torture you by implanting it now ....in your head. I've even enclosed the lyrics so you can sing along at home. What follows is a YouTube video of the song put together by a dog loving contributor, who has attached a montage of doggie photos to go along with the song. I now present to you....."Me and My Arrow."
Me and my arrow Straighter than narrow Wherever we go, every one knows It's me and my arrow
Me and my arrow Taking the high road Wherever we go, everyone knows It's me and my arrow
And in the morning when I wake up She may be gone, I don't know And we make up just to break up I'll carry on, oh yes I will
{refrain} Me and my arrow (do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do) Straighter than narrow Wherever we go, every one knows It's me and my arrow
Here in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn, you'll find posters declaring, "THE BIGGEST STOOP SALE IN THE WORLD," or "10 FAMILY GARAGE SALE." People will do anything to lure in customers for their second hand stuff. But, I thought this was ingenious. A stoop sale for the Democratic Presidential candidate. You got to believe the Kool-Aid drinking followers of Barack Obama were clamouring to buy up this persons junk, even if they didn't need it.
Neal E. Boyd has been crowned season 3's winner on America's Got Talent. The 32-year old adult cry baby, who sings opera, wins $1,000,000 and a contract at a Las Vegas hotel. That money has got to come in handy in these tough economic times, but will it? You'd think a big network like NBC would have no problem paying out such a huge prize on one of it's highest rated shows, right? You'd be wrong!
So, I'm watching the credits roll on this week's final episode and at the very end, just as the screen is about to go black, this little line scrawls across the screen. "The winning Contestant will collect $1,000,000 in 40 equal installments." I'll spare you the calculator. That's $25,000 a year. I'm 47, so if I won this contest, I may not be alive long enough to collect my entire $1,000,000. Neal E. Boyd, on the other hand, will be 72 when he collect his last $25,000 payment.
To put this in perspective, each year, America's newest millionaire will make as much as a library technician, a New York City cop, a receptionist, a nurse or a restaurant cook. Neal E. Boyd may be able to survive on that in his hometown of Sikeston, Missouri (pop: 16,992), but he'd be broke in most other cities. I wonder if the contestants were advised of this little disclaimer while they were auditioning or whether, like me, Neal E. Boyd, was watching his winning moment on T.V. when the disclaimer scrawled across the screen.
That's how many items are currently in my JUNK email box! I hadn't checked the box in, ready, are you sure, THREE days. In three fricking days, there are 3,634 little ditties in my JUNK email box. Okay, I suppose I shouldn't complain, because they are indeed in the JUNK email box and not my INBOX, where I'd have to sort through the good from the bad.
We've all received JUNK mail, but I'm not sure you've ever received the wide variety of crap that's in my JUNK box. So, I thought I'd let you take a look at a sampling of the 3,634 items in there.
The first example is a very popular piece of JUNK. It comes in this strange code that you can't understand. I have hundreds of these.
Sure, I get plenty of penis enlargement and mail-order drug offers, but what gets me is the poor quality of the sender's grammar and spelling.
You staaýed a|one because of your penis size. |)ont worry! Attêmpt our peñis énlargement. We absolutèly sure, that Girls will be crazy abôut you. Do not miss this amazing possìbility to improve yõur sexual life.
natural and effective coctail never faile and ... lowcost
Visit our new oñlìne pharmaçy store and save up to 80% We offerr:- All popular drugs are available (Viagra, Cialïs,£evitraa and much much more )- World Wìde Shipping- No Dóctor Viisitss- No Prescriptions- 100% Customer Satisfaction- Cheapest Price
Women like big ones, Don't settle for less.
And many of the JUNK emailers assume, I'm a gambler.
5 star internet casino for online casino games and slots
Then, there are all of those offers to get me out of debt.
Debt-Free in 12-48 Months!Reduce Debt by 50% or More & Save.
Do Not consolidate your debt Eliminate it! Legally ELIMINATE your creditT card and other unsecured debt * WITHOUT ever making another payment to your creditors * WITHOUT it affecting your credit long-term * WITHOUT confrontation
The ones that really get me, are those that are sent to me in a foreign language. Do they actually expect me to go to a translation site to find out what they're saying.
Haben Sie das Gefühl, dass die Potenz während des Sex nachlässt? Es läuft im Bett nicht mehr wie früher? "Kommen" Sie zu früh? Oder hätten Sie einfach gerne längeren und intensiveren Sex?
Das Leben ist zu kurz - genießen Sie das in vollen Zügen. Mit Geld kann man nicht alles kaufen! Die Potenz und über 30 Minuten Standhaftigkeit schon!
Okay, so I may be dateless and desperate, but enough already with the ads trying to hook me up with "lovely ladies."
Good news for all the single guys who are interested in meeting a Russian woman. Please visit http://s-best-77rus.biz and find links to the selected, 100% checked profiles of sincere Russian women. Sorry for bothering if this is not for you Good luck!
Dear customer! This is to report you, that 5 new messages from ladies have been delivered to your mail box. Check them this way, please:
These and thousands of other JUNK emails arrived in my Yahoo account, but Yahoo has a pretty good spam busting program that usually sorts the good from the bad. Rarely does JUNK arrive in my INBOX. Recently, I've been looking for a program that instantly sends the JUNK back to the sender. Imagine if we all had that software. These spammers would be inundated with their own JUNK. If you find something like this, let me know.
