AND AGAIN.....THEY WANT TO GIVE ME MILLIONS

It's nice to know so many people in Africa would like to give me their millions of unused cash. Yet again, I've received a lovely offer from a bank executive to unload millions in unclaimed cash. This time it's Dr. Mark Chuks, who represents a bank in the African country of Guinea Conakry. Well, suffice to say, this is another one of those email frauds, where they get your personal information and rob you blind, without every depositing the $126,000,000 into your bank account. I find it hard believe that anyone actually believes these scams, especially the fact that some guy I've never heard of has selected little ole me out of the billions of people in the world to receive this generous offer. For your curiosity, here is the latest letter:



Attention,

I wish to inform you that this letter is not a hoax mail and I urge you to treat it serious. We want to transfer to overseas account($126,000.000.00 USD) one hundred and twenty six million United States Dollars) from a prime Bank here in Guinea Conakry. I want to ask you, If you are not capable to quietly look for a reliable and honest person who will be capable and fit to provide either an existing bank account or to set up a new Bank a/c immediately to receive this money, even an empty a/c can serve to receive this money, as long as you will remain honest to me till the end for this important business trusting in you and believing in God that you will never let me down either now or in the future.



I am Dr.Mark Chuks, presently promoted to Auditor General in one of the banks here in Conakry Guinea. During the course of our auditing, I discovered a floating fund in an account opened in the bank in 2000 and since 2004 nobody has operated on this account again, after going through some old files in the records I discovered that the owner of the account died without a [Heir/WILL] hence the money is floating and if I do not remit this money out urgently it will be forfeited for nothing.



The owner of this account is an American and a great industrialist and a resident of Alaska State, who unfortunately lost his life in the plane, crash of Alaska Airlines Flight 261 which crashed on January 31 2003, including his wife and only daughter leaving nobody to claim the money . No other person knows about this account or any thing concerning it, the account has no other beneficiary and my investigation proved to me as well that the account is a secret account. The total amount involved is one hundred and twenty six million United States Dollars only[$126,000.000.00] and we wish to transfer this money into a safe foreigners account abroad. But I don't know any foreigner; I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this money cannot be approved to a local person here, but to a foreigner who has information about the account, which I shall give to you upon your positive response.

I am revealing this to you with believe in God that you will never let me down in this business, you are the first and the only person that I am contacting for this business, so please reply urgently so that I will inform you the next step to take urgently. I need your strong assurance that you will never let us down, me and a key bank official who is deeply involved with me in this business.

I guarantee you that this transaction will be executed under legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law The bank official will destroy all documents of the transaction immediately you receive this money leaving no trace to any place. I will use my position and influence to obtain all legal approvals for onward transfer of this money to your account with appropriate clearance from the relevant ministries and foreign exchange departments.

At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 35% of the total amount,60% will be for me while the remaining 5% will be for the expenses.

I look forward to hear from you.

Regards,

Dr. Mark Chuks



These scams are often refered to as 419 scams, after a relevent section of legal code in Nigeria. To find out more you can go here: 419 Scam.

JUST SOME STUFF THAT PISSED ME OFF THIS WEEK

So I just returned from a few days in Miami's South Beach where I lounged around the pool, sipped (guzzled) on tropical drinks, jet skied and ate copious amounts of fresh seafood. That was the good part of the trip.



But, upon my return to Kennedy airport, my car service, Legends Limousine, which is usually pretty reliable, totally screwed up my reservation. I had booked a pick-up at my house a few days earlier. They got that pick-up right. Then, I booked a pick-up at the airport on my return from Miami. Diligently, I called Legends, told them I was here at the Delta arrivals and was promptly told they didn't have my reservation. Get this, I was even given a confirmation number, told the price and had the credit card pre-approved when I booked.



None of this mattered, "I'm sorry sorry, We don't have a reservation," they repeated several times, even asking me, "are you sure you booked it with us?"
Thing is I've been very loyal to this company, yet I'm so pissed at this one mistake, I'm probably going to stop using them, which means they lose several thousand dollars a year of my business. They explained it would take a half hour to get a car to me, but I don't know about you, but when I arrive home from a trip, the last thing I want to do is spend any more time in the airport.



I stood in line and waited for a Yellow cab. He asks me which way I'd like to go home. I say it doesn't matter, as long as there is no traffic jam. "Did you see any traffic jams coming over, " I asked. "No sir." he says confidently. "Fine, take the Grand Central to the BQE," I tell him. Guess what, there was a traffic jam. So I instructed him to get off the highway and take Atlantic Avenue all the way into Brooklyn Heights.



He did, but he was the worst driver. He's one of those people who is constantly riding the gas pedal, so that you get this jerking back and forth motion, the whole ride. I meant to ask him, if anyone actually taught him how to properly use the gas and brake pedals, but I didn't want to insult him.



Later that day, some fairly attractive, decently dressed young woman stops me on Smith street, looking as if she's in a panic and needs help. First, she apologizes and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I need help getting home." "To where,?" I ask. Upstate near the Catskills. She needs $37.00 to get the train. She lost her wallet and has no one to call. Hmmmm. I've been hit by these scams before, so I usually always say no, even though the person may very well be one of the rare people who is truly in need. Still, I didn't buy her story. If I had time, I would have secretly followed her to see what she was up to.



Instead, I reached into my wallet and pulled out a Metrocard. She gives me this confused look, because I know the last thing a beggar wants is a Metrocard. They want cash. I think had $3.00 on the card. Good for a ride. Hey, at least that would get her to Penn Station. I don't know what ever happened to her, but I watched as she strolled down Smith Street, stopping anyone who looked like they could afford to fund her little trip. She vanished into the blur of the night.

THE 5 RULES OF ETIQUETTE ON NYC SUBWAYS

You'd think after all of the warnings, all of the underground posters and all of the publicity, commuters would learn some subway etiquette. Fact of the matter is, there are plenty of you out there that just don't get it or just don't care. More than ever, riders need to change their selfish attitudes. The subway system is experiencing record ridership because of rising gasoline prices. The trains are packed.



Yet, why is it, there's always a handful, if not more, of rude passengers on board each train car? Take the fat older Asian woman who was standing right in front of one of the subway doors, trying to get on the train while dozens of others were trying to squeeze around the fat f_ _K! It's not just fat Asian women who do this. No violators of this common courtesy come in all shapes, sizes and colors.



RULE #1 : Stand to the side of the door and let the passengers get off before you get on.

Then, there was this rude teenager sitting right next to me on the F train. She was stuffing her face with a spicy, smelly, gooey sandwich. Little chunks of food were falling on the floor and the nasty odor of the sandwich wafted through the stuffy air of the subway car.



RULE #2 : No eating on subway cars, especially if the stuff stinks.

Keep in mind, all of this is happening on a single subway ride. This isn't a collection of stories over a week on several trains. This all unfolded in one car on one train in one hour. Next up, the Latin kid who was using a neighboring seat as a foot rest. This didn't bother me so much, because there were plenty of open seats on the train. But, it did bother this taller, older black dude who didn't even want to sit in the foot occupied seat. He was sitting catty-corner to the Latin kid and proceeded to give him a lecture, pointing to others who were standing and telling him it was rude to hog up two seats.



What surprised me was the seat hogger's response: "Fuck you, I'll do what ever I want, when ever I want." The big black guy kept bugging him. I thought the Latin guy was going to snap, but he didn't look like the fighter type. He looked more like a Latin gay guy with an attitude. I would have probably said something to the kid too, if all of the seats were taken and some little old lady was using a cane to hold herself up in the middle of the aisle. Needless to say, two stops later, both guys got off.

RULE #3: Don't hog seats on the subway. (this also applies to using the seat next to you as a storage locker for your personal belongings.)

Across the aisle from me was the hip hop kid who prompted me to write rule #4. Ever since SONY hit the market with its Walkmans, the electronics company revolutionized how people listen to music. No longer would we have to suffer the bass pounding sound coming from some one's boom box. Now, people could listen to their music on personal headphones.



Unfortunately, these days there's nothing personal or private about the headphones and earbuds. These people crank up the music, so that even over the din of the rattling subway car, we are invaded by a wide variety of musical tastes ranging from rap, hip-hop, rock, country and even an occasional classical music moment.

RULE #4: Please don't share your personal music with everyone else on the train.

The next subway offense is actually tied to Rule #4 and it's actually more irritating than the previous infraction. This is when, not only do people have their Ipods turned up, they're now singing along with the songs. I don't even think they know they're doing this, or even how loud and disturbing it is for other passengers trying to sleep or read the paper. It wouldn't be so bad if these folks were American Idol finalists, but they're not. They can't carry a tune and it drives everyone else on board bonkers.



RULE #5: Don't sing along with your Ipod tunes.

There are plenty of others things that bug me about rude subway passengers, but it just struck me how many violators existed on just one train ride from Manhattan to Brooklyn. I suppose these violations aren't so bad, considering the offenses committed on subway trains in the 60's, 70's and 80's. Vandals would spray paint the trains while people were on board, knife fights would break out in the cars, boom boxes would burst the eardrums of passengers. Then, it seemed, not just a few, but almost every passenger was obnoxious, perhaps to counter the edgy attitude of their fellow passengers.



Even so, if you feel, I've missed some important subway rules, feel free to send me a comment and I'll publish an update from the responses of blog readers. In the meantime, have a pleasant, peaceful subway ride.

PIC OF THE WEEK: BARREL MEN

I spotted these guys walking down 33rd street in Midtown Manhattan recently. It was a hot day, so why not undress and cover up with a nice loose fitting wooden barrel!
It turns out they were heading home after doing some sort of promotion event in front of Penn Station where they were handing out free samples of something.

BLOND CHICK HEADS TO HAWAII

It's always sad when someone you like moves away and such is the case with a neighborhood friend, Allysha, a bartender at Angry Wades. She's heading off to Hawaii to work as an anthropologist for the military. That's what she studied in college, not bar tending! Her last day was July 25th and staff and customers threw her a little going away party. In fact other bartenders volunteered to work her shift while she partied on the bar's dime. Some photos from the party are below. Best of luck, Allysha. We'll miss ya!



ALLYSHA






VANESSA







BILL






HAWAIIAN THEME





ALLYSHA'S BACK






BYE BYE ALLYSHA!

HE WHO FEARS SHADOWS, CONFRONTS HIS FEARS

Ellis Gallagher is an institution in Brooklyn's Carroll Gardens. Once a punk graffiti artist who would "tag" subway cars, Gallagher, who is known by his street name, "Ellis G", has been chalking up sidewalks and walls for several years now with his shadow art.



Ellis G told me he started this unique type of art, after being mugged in the neighborhood a few years back. All he remembers from the attack, was the shadow of his mugger passing from his left to right behind him. Then, he turned around and a hulking figure with a machete demanded his money. A few years earlier, he had given up vandalising subway cars, after a friend was killed by an F train just as they entered the underground tunnel.



So now, the 34 year old East Village native has channeled his talents and confronted his fears in one full swoop. His art can be found all around Brooklyn, but it doesn't usually last long. A heavy rain washes his art away pretty quickly. Unlike his days as a graffiti artist sneaking around in the cover of night, Ellis G now marks up the sidewalks whenever the mood inspires him. He figures he's done it thousands of times and not just here but around the world.



Unfortunately, even though Ellis G is not putting any permanent marks on the streets, police still consider it vandalism and he's been cited and arrested several times. Most cops don't bother him, but others do. A few months ago, city officials ticketed a parent in Park Slope, because her daughter was using chalk to make a hop-scotch grid on the sidewalk. The cops backed off when the lady went to the newspapers with her complaint. After being held for 17 hours in the 76th precinct house, the Pacific Islander artist was released without being charged.



Ellis G's primary canvas is the street, but his work now appears in art shows across the country and he's been featured in just about every New York City newspaper and magazine.

WHERE WILL THE "REAL WORLD" GO TO DRINK?

If you've ever watched MTV's "Real World." then you know the cameras follow the 20-somethings where ever they go, including the bars and clubs. But, this next season, the young T.V stars are stuck in Red Hook, living large in a big a loft on the waterfront. Unfortunately, only a handful of bars exist in the desolate Brooklyn outpost.



What I've been hearing is that MTV has been contacting a number of bars and clubs along Smith Street to see if they would permit filming. "Angry Wades" is reportedly one of the spots they have contacted. I've also heard they made contact with "Social," the hip cocktail speakeasy across from Carroll Park and the brand new "Clover Club," just a block away from Wades on Smith street. They may have contacted more.

\

What is uncertain is how this filming will be done. In past episodes, it appears as if the cameras just follow the kids from bar to bar, meaning they walk into already occupied establishments, rather than clearing out the bar and making it exclusive to them. These days, the cameras used to film "Real World" are pretty small and they don't need a huge crew to follow them around, so they could get away with just walking into a busy bar and filming the conversations and exploits of the cast.

It's my understanding that pretty much anyone involved in the show, and I would assume that includes bar owners, would have to sign a confidentiality contract. This insures that any behind the scenes secrets, including the location of the filming , would be kept secret until after the filming is done and the episodes begin airing.

MY FRIEND FRANK MORANO WANTS TO WIN A DINNER WITH RALPH NADER

As the NEWSGUY, I get all all sorts of email, from long lost friends, to fans, to politicians trying to get on-air coverage of their cause. But, today, I was fascinated by the email I received from my friend, Frank Morano, a producer at WABC Radio and a mucky muck with Staten Island's Independence Party.



A while back, Frank recruited me to make a donation for one of his charities, the "St. Baldrick's Foundation," a group that raises money for cancer research by signing people up to shave their heads for donations. I felt honored to help him out.

Several months prior to that, Frank asked me to help him recover his towed car at the NYPD's vehicle impound lot on the West Side Highway. Again, no problem.



For months, he begged me to go visit the legendary T.V talk show host Joe Franklin. It took awhile, but I finally sat down with Franklin at his cluttered Midtown office and I found him to be one of the nicest guys on the planet. I even thanked Frank for hooking us up.

But, today, I got this email from Frank:

"I've entered a contest. It's sponsored by Nader/Gonzalez. And first prize is a dinner with Ralph Nader. There are a bunch of other prizes. Like -- an autographed copy of Ralph's classic -- Unsafe at Any Speed. But I want to win the dinner with Ralph.The contest works this way:

The person who brings in the most e-mail sign-ups to Ralph's web site wins the dinner with Ralph. Nader/Gonzalez will set up a leader board to keep track of how I'm doing. But, I need you to sign up. And for you to be included on the list of people who I got to sign up, you have to do it in a certain way. By signing up, you will get a daily message from Nader/Gonzalez -- they are always politically interesting -- and sometimes funny. And you can unsubscribe at any time. But for me to win a dinner with Ralph, you have to sign up. So, please, do it for me."

Are you kidding me! Dinner with Ralph Nader? Hmmmmm, let me think who would I want to have dinner with? The President? The Pope? Paul Harvey? Billy Joel? Ted Kennedy?
Geez, I could think of hundreds of people I'd launch an email campaign for just to get a free dinner. Granted, the 74 year old guy is a legend.



He single handily took on the automobile industry in the 1960's and in his book, "Unsafe at any Speed," described for the first time how so many cars, including GM's Corvair, were killing machines. Actually, I'd like to have dinner with Richard James, the inventor of one of my favorite childhood toys, the Slinky.



Unfortunately, James is dead. He died in 1974 when he accidentally wrapped the slinky around his neck. (I just made that part up). Frank ends his email to me with this pathetic plea:



"I want dinner with Ralph!"

Although I will not be engaging in this campaign, fearing that I will be inundated with even more junk mail from a Presidential campaign I could care less about, I encourage you to support my friend, Frank Morano, in his quest for a dinner with Ralph Nader.

If you'd like to support Frank's effort, please feel free to click on the link below and sign up.

I WANT DINNER WITH RALPH NADER

FIRST BED BUGS, NOW THIS!

I know my bugs. I've survived a nearly six-month ordeal with those hideous bed bugs a few years back. So, this latest infestation really was more of an annoyance than a crisis. Still, when I awoke one morning last week to find hundreds, maybe thousands of fruit flies swarming and crawling around my kitchen I was horrified.



I had a big party the week before. The back door to the deck was open most of the time. Grapes grow on vines outside the house. Crumbs of food were everywhere and some bottles of sweet liquor were still open. I'm sure one, if not all of those factors contributed to the infestation.



These bugs were everywhere, mostly though in the kitchen and back room, which connects to the deck. They covered my stove, counter top, they were crawling on the floor, stuck between paper towels, flying overhead and congregating on virtually any gadget and surface in my kitchen. Dozens of them, for instance, covered my bottles of cooking oil, which sit on top of the stove. I found 20 or 30 of them gathered around the back ends of my knives in a butcher block.

In the back room, it was even worse. I have four big windows that stretch from about waist level to about 14-feet high. Three of these windows were covered with so many fruit flies, I could barely see outside. What's amazing about these little buggers is that they tend to crawl more than fly, so when I pulled out my trusty vacuum cleaner and started sucking them up, they just stayed there, rather than scatter. So, yes, fruit flies are dumb. Good for me.



After sucking up as many as I could find, I began an intensive two day extermination campaign, starting with a simple can of RAID. I sprayed in crevices around my kitchen, around the circumference of the back door, along the edges where the walls meet the floor and below and above the back room windows. I then began a total scrub down of the kitchen, taking all of the small appliances off the counter top, using germ killing cleaning materials to wash and wipe down every exposed surface. I continued this to my butcher block kitchen island. Then, I went out to the hardware store and purchased a few of those sticky fly strips. They managed to snare any of the remaining fruit flies. I continued to be vigilant with my vacuum cleaner, walking around like a maniac searching for any errant fly that I could find. I would suck them to their deaths.



Compared to my bed bug problem of a few years ago, this took just over 24 hours to control. Suffice to say, I hate bugs. I have no tolerance for them. Forgive me for saying this, but FUCK groups like PETA (The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). Some of their more fringe members have been known to come to the defense of insects, which by definition are NOT animals.

Believe it or not, there is a group that has befriended bugs of all kinds, "The Insect Rights Association" (IRA). I'm not making this up. Here's is their stated philosophy, direct from their website:

"For earth to be a planet of harmony and peace requires a loving attitude among all its creatures. This means all, no matter how small. There are not degrees of loving kindness and compassion. Where would we draw the line? The moment we try to set parameters on regard for other beings, the lines begin to blur, and someone always gets hurt. Insects get hurt a lot, and not for any good reason.
Practice love for all beings on small creatures first, and this attitude will grow toward all of life in general."

Now how does the IRA suggest we deal with these pests. Again, a snippet from their website:

* When you find an insect in your home, hold a piece of paper nearby for it to walk on . Then carry it outside and release it gently back to nature.

* Open your door and shoo flying insects out, instead of smashing them with a fly swatter.

* Leave spiders alone. They won't hurt you. They build beautiful webs and make lovely friends.

* Let the little ants have their way. They will only explore your kitchen for a short season. They don't eat very much.

* Love the dear little creatures, and see how your whole life changes.



Let me just say this, had I not sucked the life out of those fruit flies, my whole life would have changed. I might have had to stay at a hotel, dispose of much of my food, awake in the middle of the night to bugs crawling in my nose and ears and worse yet, checked myself into a mental hospital to deal with my psychotic reaction to the flying beasts. No, I'm sorry, IRA, I believe I made the right decision and will continue to kill, in as a painful way as possible, God's annoying little creatures. I hate bugs.

"I HATE VALENTINES DAY"

Hollywood loves Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn. If it's not a commercial or a T.V series, a movie is usually being filmed here a couple of times a year. This week was no exception. The crew from Blue Star Pictures was back for a second round of filming for their film, "I Hate Valentines Day." It's described as a romantic-comedy with generally unknown stars like Director/Actress Nia Vardalos and actors John Corbett, Dan Finnerty and Cheryl Consenza. A check of movie web sites tells us they've all appeared in a half dozen to a dozen or so movies that you've probably never heard of.



One of the premiere movie sites describes the film this way: "A florist tries to convince a restaurant owner to date her without the fear of it becoming a full-fledged relationship." The same site says filming was supposed to have begun in 2007. In comparison to other movies filmed in the neighborhood, this would be considered a medium size crew.



Most of the filming took place in front of a flower shop on Court street. Gawkers watched from across the street in front of Sal's Pizza. Actors, Actresses and the crew casually hung around the set. Three tents were set up to keep the stars out of the burning 90-degree plus sunlight. A giant ice storage container was plopped on the set to keep everyone cool.



Unlike other movies filmed here, the crew seemed pretty low key, perhaps because the egos didn't exist, because the film lacked big name stars that carry that kind of load. There were no traffic jams, no yelling at pedestrians to stop or walk in the other direction and no obnoxious production assistants.