Friday, November 21, 2008
MY ECONOMIC BAILOUT PLAN
Congress has 700-billion dollars of your money to play with. First, they pump cash into the ailing bank and insurance industries. Now, the auto industry is knocking on the door, looking for a government handout. What's next the textile industry, toy makers, grocery stores, hospitals, lawyers? Here's a plan that will instantaneously pump money back into the economy, get people out of debt and create a savings plan for every American.
It's not really my brilliant idea. My friend Bill came up with it. His plan would only require 700-million dollars. That's considerably less, as you know, then 700-billion dollars. No major industry would get a dime, under Bill's plan. Instead, every American, about 300-million of them, would get a check.....a $2,500,000 check. This one time infusion of cash would make every American an instant millionaire. They'd be able to pay off their mortgage or get one. They'd be able to buy furniture, appliances, even luxury items like cruises and wide screen T.V's.
They'd buy bigger cars and drive more. Gas prices would once again get up to $4.00 a gallon because the oil industry would no longer fear people couldn't afford to travel by car as much. The auto industry would rebound. Banks would flourish as millions of Americans open new savings and IRA accounts. Many of these people would start their own small businesses, providing even more jobs in the retail and service sector.
To put this in perspective, this plan would cost less than one billion dollars and every American would be rich. If Congress were to keep their original bailout plan, they would have 699 billion dollars left to help all of those struggling industries, but why? Hell, instead of giving each of us a $2,500,000 why not send out $10,000,000 checks to all 300-million Americans. That would cost the U.S. government just 3.5 billion dollars and guess what, there's still just over 696 billion dollars left to restore the economy. But, why? Now, each of us have $10,000,000 in our bank accounts. Is this too simplistic or is just as simple as it sounds. Oh....and one more benefit. Never again would we think Congress is made up of a bunch of do nothing political hacks. For once, polls showing a 60-percent or higher disapproval rating would plummet to next to nothing, insuring them re-election.