Friday, December 19, 2008
LOOK WHO'S COMING TO LUNCH....EVERY LIVING PRESIDENT
What'ya suppose will happen when Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter and the two Bush's get together next month for lunch at the White House? Talk about an exclusive club. Obama suggested the get together during his most recent meeting with President Bush. Now, the date has been set and Mister Bush will host a White House luncheon on January 7th.
Sitting down in the White House dining room, the menu will include a mix of some of George Junior's Tex-Mex favorites: Ribs, potato salad and corn bread. The Bush's will wear little bibs and get messy. Clinton will complain there's no donuts. Carter will eat his ribs with a fork and Obama will bellyache about how Chicago soul food puts this crap to shame. They all drink beer. The Bush boys go out on the terrace to smoke cigars. Unable to quit smoking, Obama apologizes and lights up a Marlboro red. Clinton gives him a lecture. Obama says "At least I didn't accept a blow-j_ _ from that woman." Bush junior jokes, "You mean Hillary." The meeting goes downhill from there.
Besides wanting to get into their heads, Obama will get an earful of Presidential stories and anecdotes. Carter will probably talk about Amy running amok in the Oval office and rearranging the desk just to piss off Dad. Clinton will note there's a secret room just off the Lincoln bedroom where you can do all sorts of secret stuff. Daddy Bush will lean over to Obama and say, "Can you believe my son actually works here." His son will lean over to Carter and say, "My Dad's a prick."
This will prompt an angry outburst from Clinton, who's been listening to all of these whispers. He'll shout, "Shut up! Enough! You're behaving like children. We're fucking President's damn it." Bush junior chimes in, "Hey, Bill, you're right, how bout that." His Dad mutters under his breath, "No thanks to me, asshole." Clinton, known for his temper, tosses a half eaten rib at George W. who screams, "It's still my fucking White House, asshole." Obama suggests a game of basketball to cool things down. Bush Junior belts Clinton in the face, laughing, "I haven't done that since college." Carter has a heart attack.
The meeting ends with the Presidents leaving through the West Wing, undetected by waiting reporters. They're shuffled off with little fanfare. The next day, it's announced Jimmy Carter collapsed and died while building a house for Habitat For Humanity. Obama later says it was a "constructive, fruitful, learning experience."
The Bush's are at the Texas ranch watching Obama on T.V over a few beers. "W" turns to his dad and says, "Hey pops, I got Clinton good, didn't I." Dad nods in approval.